Parents pleased with the
Montessori believes that the child is their own person and knows what is best for them. Sleep training imposes a bedtime schedule and routine that may not come naturally to the child. So, while sleep training is enforcing independence – the manner in which it is carried out opposes
How can parents then create a bedtime routine that is aligned with the
What is sleep training?
Sleep training is teaching your baby to fall asleep, and go back to sleep, independently. It has a few variations that involve leaving the child to self-soothe or cry until they fall asleep, with or without adult supervision. It usually is carried out from 4 months of age, in an attempt by parents to encourage the baby to start sleeping by themselves through the night.
Among the more popular sleep training methods are:
1. Cry it out (extinction) method – putting the child to bed without being cuddled or nursed and allowing the child to cry until they fall asleep
2. Ferber (graduated extinction) method – allows the parents to check on the child, but only after a timed interval of crying. This trains the child to get used to longer intervals where the parent does not immediately respond until they learn to self-soothe.
3. The Chair method – is used for older babies, where the parent sits on a chair by the child’s crib or bed and stays there without picking them up until the baby falls asleep.
4. Bedtime fading method – parents watch for the baby’s sleep cues instead of having a set time for sleep. The baby is put to bed once they show signs of being sleepy, and taken out of bed if they start crying. Bedtime is moved earlier every few days until the ideal bedtime is reached. Bedtime fading also involves the parent gradually lessening their stay in the baby’s room when they set them to bed.
5. Pick up, put down method – parents are advised to wait a few minutes to see if they will settle down before picking them up. If the baby doesn’t settle down, they are picked up and soothed by the parent until they are calm again. The process is repeated until the baby sleeps.
Is sleep training Montessori ?
In the book The Child in the Family, Maria
“The prejudice that condemns children to sleep is very popular among northern peoples and is without any foundation, but we accept it without argument. One time a child came to me saying that he wanted to see something very beautiful, of which he had heard much talk–the stars. He had never seen them because he had to go to bed very early. It is easy to understand that the child condemned to sleep must find the inner work of construction extremely fatiguing because he is forced to struggle with the adult, who destroys the building process and for the most part condemns him to sleep.”
-MariaMontessori
Thus, sleep training as such is not in keeping with
The Montessori Sleep Approach
There is no official
Bedroom
“We must give the child an environment that he can utilize by himself: … a small bed in which he can sleep at night under an attractive blanket he can fold and spread by himself. We must give him an environment in which he can live and play; then we will see him at work all day … and (at night) lay himself down on his bed. He will …be gracious and tranquil, without tears, without tantrums, without naughtiness–affectionate and obedient.”— The Child in the Family by Maria
Montessori
The
Co-sleeping
Montessori promotes independence so while they do not have a rule against co-sleeping, it is suggested that the child have their own room. However,
She explains the love a child has for their adults and how this affects their sleeping routine: “When the child goes to bed, he must do so in the company of someone he loves. But the person he loves thinks: “This nonsense must stop. We’ll spoil him if we stay close to him before he goes to sleep.”
What is the Montessori sleeping method for babies?
The following quote from Maria
“In nature, man takes the child into his arms because a child needs to be held. The child must not be left in a cot all the time, because it is a natural law that a mother should take the child into her arms. It goes further. It is a preparation for the personality that is being shaped for the future. “
–The 1946 London Lectures, p. 53
This shows that
Adult vs child’s needs
The concept of sleep training is opposed to the
“The adult must acquire the sensitivity to recognize all the child’s needs; only thus can he give the child all the help that is necessary. If we were to establish a principle, it would be that what is necessary is the child’s participation in our lives, for in that period in which he must learn to act, he cannot learn well if he does not see how…
…But the extension of adult hospitality is opposed by the prejudice, supported tyrannically and cruelly by health science, that a child must get a great deal of sleep, like a vegetable. Why force him to sleep? If we allow him to stay awake as much as he likes and we keep him near us, we will see that he needs to sleep a great deal less.”
–MariaMontessori , The Child in the Family
Hybrid Montessori
Some books on
Conclusion
While
– a safe environment to sleep in
– the availability of an adult who can listen and support their needs
– the opportunity to determine when they are ready to fall asleep, and
– a clear sequence of night-time activities
These are things you can adapt to help your child establish a regimen that works for them.
References:
The Child in the
The
The
Montessori150.org
Whattoexpect.com